Turning Up the Heat with Sexual Energy

I’m a big fan of playing with sexual energy. I love observing it around me, feeling it in me and using it for my life, love and business endeavours, but what is it? How can you find it, feel it and experiment with it? Use it to change your perspective and success in your life?

I like to think of it like “love” – you can probably find words to describe it, but nothing can really touch the surface to express the magnitude of it, and we seek moments to try and show it through our words and actions, but showing its existence is something that needs to be felt – an energy transfer, that becomes magnetic and affects the vibrations of others and the environment around us.

Your version of sexual energy will be different to mine. I’m not sharing the dictionary definition or the academics on it here, as I think my personal experience, belief & passion behind it, is more beautifully expressed, understood, and relatable. Here’s my account of it.

What is sexual energy?

It’s the life force. It’s the continuation of the orgasm that happened when you were created. That explosive energy that created the mergence of ovum and sperm, that turned into your heartbeat, that electronic current that runs through your body, powering every cell of your being – it started with sex, and it’s in you right now. Only we have no idea how to tap into it to bring new creations into the world, beyond that of making small humans. If sex can create a whole new human life, can you possibly imagine what else it can do? 

What does it feel like?

For me, sexual energy feels like an aliveness, an un-stop-ableness. I feel sex in my body, even when I’m not having sex. When I acknowledge it’s there, it can feel like the awakening of an orgasm, as explosive as an actual orgasm, or as warm and buzzy as the high of a post orgasm.

I feel it as an excitement, as something that needs to be expressed, like something BIG is coming, and that I have the capability, power and passion to make this thing happen. I become (even more) flirty, funny, I produce words, ideas, concepts and wisdom on things I didn’t even know I had to say. People tell me I am magnetic, that they want to be around me to absorb my energy, are inspired, want to listen to what I have to say, and I move them in positive and often, significant ways. When I’m in my sexual energy, I have enough connection to them and to me, to know it’s true.

I feel it as an abundance of energy and infinite possibility. When I am connected to this source, I can just keep on going. I can pack my days to the brim, and still get up the next day and carry on. For days, weeks, even months. When I am in this energy, I don’t tire, I can thrive on very little sleep, and even food – not that I am encouraging this at all, but for me it’s like life wants me awake! I do rest, and I take that more slightly more seriously than ever before, but I’m not depleted when I rest – my life force is still alive and burning, just on a lower heat.

How do I make it happen?

Spiritual Practices

I have spiritual practices that I dip in and out of as and when needed. Cacao ceremonies can often generate a new heat in me. Yoga and connection to breath & movement are integral to finding that energy center within me.

I tap into my sacral chakra (just the below the button towards the groin) – I breathe into it, move with it, and I ask questions to see what my body wants to tell me. It’s a source of inner wisdom. I use meditation to connect with and manifest what I’m trying to create. I use crystals and tarot cards for charging me up with some perspective and to help me see what I cannot yet see clearly.

I practice self- reiki when I feel energy has got stuck. I light my favourite candles, oils and incense to increase the sensory experience. Sometimes, alone at night, I bathe in the light of the moon and stars. 

Dance and Music

I dance. I listen to music. I move my body every day.

I love creating new shapes and emotions in my body by the way I move it, and the music I listen to while doing it. That can stretch from ballet and contemporary to street, burlesque and Latino dance.

I connect to every facet of the music – the rhythm, the tempo, the timbre, the bass, the harmony, the accents, the story, the lyrics… and then I let my body tell the story it wants to express. This lights up my sexual energy in the most impactful way, and after a session of dance, I can almost appear high – I usually am.

Nature

I know that sunshine, water, trees and fresh air are my daily dose of powering up. It grounds me first. I get connected with what is really going on, then let my sexual energy take over. It’s like making love to the universe with such a deep sense of gratitude for being alive. This feeling of never taking for granted the beauty and lessons in nature, can highly elevate me. So much so, my sexual connection – life force, actually feels like it belongs in nature – the things that were in existence way before we arrived, and that they too are our life force. Without them we would not survive. It’s just a circle back to a sexual energy – life force loop.

Body

I am in Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) recovery. It means that I used to and still can on occasions distort the image I see of myself. My recovery path has led me to my sexualness and it’s through experimenting with this, I have found the strongest healing. Everything in, on or around my body affects the BDD.

So, I only eat stuff (mostly) that feels like it is nourishing not damaging to my body, I wear clothes, make-up and underwear that make me feel alive and present in my body and in the world. Treating my body as a temple, working out and taking care what I put on and in it, is another away to access the energy lines to my sexual energy. This is my body’s first level connection with the outer world, the immediate stuff that touches my skin, makes my skin smell and feel delicious, so that even I want to be sexually connected with me. When you can find your own sexual connection to yourself, it changes how everyone else around sees you. Things and people, ideas and concepts… they are all energetic compositions, and they start to vibrate towards you at the frequency to which you are showing up in the world.

Sex

Well, I could hardly talk about sexual energy without referencing the good stuff, huh?! What is sex to me, I’m know, is something completely different to other people. Just like what sexual energy feels like varies from person to person, for some sex can vary from an intimate stroke, hug or kiss, all the way to intercourse, BDSM (Bondage, Domination, Submission, Sado – Masochism), eating certain food or experiencing a certain texture, and everything else in between. Sex can be solo, multiple people, it can be with any gender, any sexuality in whatever flavour fits what you need and want at the time.

My account of sex is something that is paradoxical. It is both fierce, passionate, yet relaxed & calm, steady and spontaneous, deep and dark, light and playful. The contradiction of gentle violence, the force and surrender, the pushing harder and pulling slower. Just like how I love the ice cold of sorbet on a steaming hot desert, the opposition of the two things, like yin and ying, masculine and feminine essence, messes with my head to the point where is nothing left to do but let go. 

Let. It. All. Go…

It’s the place I go to leave everything behind, and just be fully in the present. Nothing else exists in that moment other than me and the other person I’m experiencing.

Curiosity, depth, an act of love, an act of service and being open and willing to receive. It’s a collaboration of 2 people (or more) in unison with each other, creating, exploring, experiencing heightened levels of desire and pleasure, together. It really is the most beautiful, hot mess I can experience. It’s intoxicating and addictive to me. I know how much my body craves it and benefits from it.

Sex is source of stress release, connection, love, acceptance, learning and depth to my soul. It releases of a variety of emotions and trauma healing – such as, for me, that resulted in the BDD, and so it’s important for me to stay connected to the act of sex. 

I also know I can create all those feelings without having sex. Staying connected to my sexual energy in all the ways above helps me access my own resources. When I’m in love with myself and desiring me, life and world is in love with me too, desiring me. How I choose to bring in and use my sexual energy changes everything.

How Do You Reach Climax?

This is only my account of how sexual energy is expressed in me and through me. And whilst my version of it may or may not resonate with others, and you may or may not think you even have any, know it’s waiting for you and it wants you to use it. The world wants you to use it too – close the life force, sexual energy loop. Bring it back to the rawest essence of who you are, your origin story. Once you find a path to it, your sexual energy starts to transmute itself into other wonderful things. 

It’s now my pleasure to help people access for that for themselves, in their love and sex lives, business and home lives. I can be your sexual blueprint way-finder if you want to journey through life with a different lens, that shows you, and lets you feel, the abundance, love, success and a magnetism that is all for your taking.