What is sex life coaching?

I prefer the term – “Sex -Life Coaching”, as an element of life coaching.

Sex (otherwise known as “relationships”) is an element of the 8 spokes of the Wheel of Life, and I have chosen to get laser focused in on one of them.

Also, Sex Coach (without the “Life” bit), I think kinda implies I’m going to be there, alongside you, as you’re going at it, cheering you on from the from the door way! Or pushing you into the sex club, while I wait outside with your coat to hear how it went. Or match making you with your dream threesome. I mean that sounds enticing, and a bloody great night out on all accounts, but that’s not really what I’m here for as you coach!

“Sex-Life” sounds a bit more holistic to me. I may have just made up that title, but then this is all about dancing to the tune of our band and no-one else’s. And this is mine.

Common questions

What is sex-life coaching
  • A place for you to find a narrative, a language, and a sexual fluency, in order for you to have compassionate and brave conversations about sex with your partner/s.
  • A place to explore your personal relationship with sex, what you want from it and how to achieve it.
  • A place for you to feel safe sharing your deepest desires, to feel accepted and to feel liberated by saying it out loud.
  • A place to perhaps reconsider some of the misconceptions or self-confessed hang-ups you have around relationships and sex.
  • A place to create boundaries, experiment with dialogue and create better connections with your partner/s.
  • A place to explore your sexuality, freely, with no judgement.
  • A place to go deeper into who you are and what you really want from life, becoming assertive in your sex life, so that you can become assertive in the other areas of your life too.
  • A place to work on your body image and confidence so that you feel empowered and in control in your s-exploits.
  • A place to try out and experiment with your thoughts and feelings around new ideas and concepts.

​And anything else you bring to the table!

The coaching experience is open to anyone from any sexuality, gender or non-binary, trans orientation, race, age and disability.

How does it work?

When you first make contact, I’ll arrange a “Tell Me What You Want Call” where we’ll get to know each other a bit better and get a bit of an understanding of what you want to focus on. This is a great opportunity to check that the chemistry works for us both, that we both feel safe and trusting of the coaching relationship and to answer any questions we both may have.

Each coaching relationship is unique, taking a different format because I work bespoke to what you need, so during this call, we’ll also talk about the number of sessions that may be good to start with initially, the options of blocks payment and cost.

Some people like to take a bit of time to think this over – and I prefer that you do. This is important work, an investment in your future sex life and pleasure, and you need to feel good that I am the right person to help you journey on this.

If it feels like a great fit for both of us, then I’ll talk you through the next steps which includes a short onboarding document for you to sign, which also includes all the GDPR information on how I will hold all your personal information confidentially and privately, my duty of care to you and others, and other wonderfully essential elements, before we kick off the juicy stuff.

What Does a Session Look Like?

Most of my sessions are conducted on Zoom from a private, quiet office. I’m flexible to work across time zones, dependant on need, and am happy to accommodate early morning or evening sessions where also needed. You will need to ensure you are somewhere that makes you feel comfortable and safe to have a session.

We’ll start the session in a variety of different ways. Sometimes a check in, sometimes a short meditation, breathwork or Yoga stretch to get our minds clear, get present and into bodies, leaving all distractions of the day outside of our session, unless that is what of course you want to work on. Sometimes we might even draw a mantra card, share a saying or Zen card to help focus our attention on what you want to get from the session. In our first session, we’ll decide what you want to have as your opening ritual, and we’ll also discuss how you’d like to close the session every week.

Then after our ritual and warm up, we’ll dive straight in… you take the lead and I’ll follow where you want to head. During the session, expect lots of questions and deep dives, but also allow for me to share resources, practices, places, toys, websites and other suggestions that may help you along the way.

Are we a fit?

Just like trying on a pair of new jeans, you need to get the fit right. It’s a big step to decide to share your sex life with a stranger, so let’s make this a little bit easier.

Open to anyone

The coaching experience is open to anyone from any sexuality, gender or non-binary, trans orientation, race, religion, age and disability.

Having said that, it won’t be a fit for me if you think this is:

  • Just for people that want to explore the kinkier, fetishy side of sex. It’s for anyone with any area they would like to talk through and work on, and that may include, having less intercourse and more foreplay, it may be finding a way to have intimacy with someone that doesn’t involve sex, it may be dealing with a medical issue or disability that makes sex challenging etc.
  • Therapy or a counselling. If you need to discuss or work through a sex related trauma or addiction from a therapeutic perspective or need psychosexual support, I’m not licensed nor qualified to help.
  • Just about me giving you all the answers. It is about us both being curious, challenging, supporting, inclusive and creative in finding and getting you to the right outcome. That’s why my coaching is soul -led – we need to understand what it is driving you to make sure you get what you really want (and not what you’ve be told/taught to want).
  • Anything sexual on my part! We’ll both keep our fingers (and toes!) to ourselves!
  • All pink and fluffy. Expect me to be someone who you can trust, cry with, be vulnerable and raw with. But also expect me to be honest and call you out when I see or hear something that doesn’t seem congruent with what I have heard you say, or who I believe you to be.
  • One sided. It’s your time, and your stories, experiences, but also where it feels good for us both, I may share with you my experience, knowledge and personal stories where it maybe pertinent to helping you shift to a new place. I have a lot of knowledge in the sex space, but I also learn so much from everyone I work with, so let’s make this a reciprocal learning relationship, and let’s not be selfish about our knowledge, experience and expertise.

FAQs

Do I need sex life coaching?

We’ll have a chemistry call before any decision is made to work together, to make sure it feels good for both of us (check out How it Works), but before we even get to that point, this is what I’ll show up with:

  • A space for you to explore your relationship with sex, what you want from it and how to achieve it.
  • A space for you to feel safe sharing your deepest desires, kinks, fetishes, fantasies, to feel accepted and to feel liberated by saying it out loud.
  • A space to perhaps reconsider some of the misconceptions you have around relationships and sex.
  • A space to create boundaries, experiment with dialogue and create better connections with your partner/s.
  • A space to explore your sexuality, freely, with no judgement.
  • A space to go deeper into who you are and what you really want from life, becoming assertive in your sex life, so that you can become assertive in the other areas of your life too.
  • A space to work on your body image and confidence so that you feel empowered in life, and maybe even extend that into in your s-exploits.
  • A space to try out and experiment with your thoughts and feelings around new ideas and concepts.
  • A space to learn, and receive resources on certain skills, topics and flavours.

And anything else sex related you bring to the table (within reason)!

​

How is this work bespoke to me?

The coaching experience is open to anyone from any sexuality, gender or non-binary, trans orientation, race, religion, age and disability.

Having said that, it won’t be a fit for me if you think this is:

One sided. It’s your time, and your stories, experiences, but also where it feels good for us both, I may share with you my experience, knowledge and personal stories where it maybe pertinent to helping you shift to a new place. I have a lot of knowledge in the sex space, but I also learn so much from everyone I work with, so let’s make this a reciprocal learning relationship, and let’s not be selfish about our knowledge, experience and expertise.

Just for people that want to explore the kinkier, fetishy side of sex. It’s for anyone with any area they would like to talk through and work on, and that may include, having less intercourse and more foreplay, it may be finding a way to have intimacy with someone that doesn’t involve sex, it may be dealing with a medical issue or disability that makes sex challenging etc.

Therapy or a counselling. If you need to discuss or work through a sex related trauma or addiction from a therapeutic perspective or need psychosexual support, I’m not licensed nor qualified to help.

Just about me giving you all the answers. It is about us both being curious, challenging, supporting, inclusive and creative in finding and getting you to the right outcome. That’s why my coaching is soul -led – we need to understand what it is driving you to make sure you get what you really want (and not what you’ve be told/taught to want).

Anything sexual on my part! We’ll both keep our fingers (and toes!) to ourselves!

All pink and fluffy. Expect me to be someone who you can trust, cry with, be vulnerable and raw with. But also expect me to be honest and call you out when I see or hear something that doesn’t seem congruent with what I have heard you say, or who I believe you to be.

How much will this cost?

Money is also almost as difficult to talk about as sex is.

I don’t have a prescribed package, because we all need different things from different perspectives, with different interventions. I know! It’s frustrating to not know the numbers from the off, but I don’t want you to be misled by a number that has no real meaning to you. That would not be very inclusive and soul led of me. But what you can expect is after our initial discussion, if it feels like a mutual “hell yeah”, I’ll put together our co-created plan of what I think our coaching relationship can look like and with that, hopefully a number that feels good for us both. And we can go from there.