The Sex & Soul Philosophy

We live in a world that tolerates unfulfilling, mediocre, boring or unrealistic sex. We also live in a world where we don’t talk about it and why would we when I can’t even type the word “sex” in an Insta post without having to change it to s.ex, s3x or s*x.

Yet, it’s used against us to influence us, especially in our buying habits and life choices. And the context that is deep, soulful, spiritual, connected, educational and expansive is not taught to us and is censored. But not here at Sex & Soul.

This is what I believe about sex, intimacy and relationships and the foundations upon which Sex & Soul is built.

We need to talk about sex

For so many of us, we want, or need, to talk about sex, but we don’t, because there often isn’t the safe space free of judgement, to seek clarity, to work through our blockages, ask for help, learn, and receive love and compassion in doing so.

​And because we don’t talk or believe we won’t receive what we need from that conversation, we fail to have transparent, honest conversations about sex in our relationships. When you can do that, you can amplify, save or set free, your relationships.

Why sexual energy matters

Inclusive sex conversations

Everyone is welcome at Sex and Soul, no matter your sexuality, gender, age, race, religious beliefs, disability, relationship status, sexual experience, kinks & fetishes. All I ask is that you are honest, curious, open to ideas and sharing your truth, to listen – to yourself and me, and willing to learn.

Pleasure as an entitlement

We aren’t educated to see sex as a source of pleasure, or even that we are entitled to pleasure. And even when we do seek pleasure, we find it other sources, such a junk food and alcohol. And of course, we are free to do those things, but we have an internal source of ecstasy, creativity, and connection within us that we rarely learn to fully understand and utilise. That’s such a waste of a precious gift.

Curiosity over performance

Sex is not always about aiming for the “big O” as the ultimate goal! I mean who doesn’t love being blown away by a wave of ecstasy, but we are often striving for performance – to prove our masculinity, femininity, sexiness, putting on a show, demonstrating our skills, making each other cum. But with that, we often lose the beauty in the journey. Do you even remember how you got there, or was you so focused on the outcum? Who’s outcum? Yours? Theirs?

What I think is better, is to seek curiosity. About your body – what you are enjoying and what you aren’t. If it’s partnered sex, being curious with all your senses and words, enjoying their body, working with their pleasure journey and yours to create something great and magical… and sometimes, no “big O” is even needed. Putting curiosity before performance, also enables a great space for consent to be explored too.

No One Right Way

There is no right way to have sex, intimacy or a relationship. The opportunities here are almost endless.

We often get swept up in religion, media, politics, the education system, our upbringing, and porn, to define how we see sex and relationships. The time has come to seek your true path on this, not the one that you have been indoctrinated to believe.

Sex and intimacy can be anything you want it to be, with some-one who is consenting (and risk aware) to be in that with you. Your relationship structure can be anything those in your relationships, consensually agree it can be

Sexual Empowerment is the Core

I believe that sexual empowerment comes from a great sexual and intimate relationship with ourselves first, from a place of love and embodiment. We certainly aren’t educated to worship our own being before we do that with someone else.

​When you can ask for what you want in the bedroom, you can ask for what you want in the boardroom and beyond. Stepping into your sexual power, is your power… it’s what we see and feel from you and gives you the confidence to ask for what you need and want.

Sex is not a chore

Great sex is not a nice to have. Sex is not an obligation on Birthdays and Anniversaries. Unless that’s your flavour, but I bet deep down, it isn’t!

We need to normalise sex – most of us are doing it or have done it. We arrived here on this planet because of it. It’s part of our origin story. So, let’s make this a normal and important conversation, just as much as life finances, holidays or who’s turn it is to unload the dishwasher. And then let’s see it as something to play and have fun with

Sex is holistic

To realise the sex and intimacy you desire, so many other things must come into play.

To understand those areas, we need to dig down and what see what’s underneath it all. It might feel deep, soulful, spiritual, or just damn right uncomfortable, but really what we want to achieve together, is that sex and intimacy is a holistic experience that encompasses the whole of your being, not just the bits you decide, knowingly or not, to turn on and off.